Two years ago today, we left the ER grief-stricken and numb after my sister died unexpectedly. We went to her home to be together, to make calls, to do whatever one does when nothing makes sense and nothing seems real.
I’ve retraced the hours of that day today – the phone call, the waiting, the gathering, the dreaded words, the tears, the disbelief.
There are no set rules on how you mark these dreaded anniversaries.
Today, I read.
The afternoon we went to her house for the first time without her, there was a book on the end table by her corner of the couch. The latest Danielle Steel book, one of her favorite authors. The cover flap was tucked between chapter three and chapter four, the place she stopped when time stopped. I’ve held that book since then and didn’t lose her spot… until today.
Today, I finished the book. For her. For me.
Our family is writing new chapters in our story. Angela is still very much a part of them, just not in the way we want. But her love is there in every line, her influence on every new story.
How do you move forward? You live the way you’d want them to live if you had gone first. Finishing books, writing new stories, eating forbidden foods, laughing until you can’t breathe, loving even if it hurts. Life is short and a beautiful gift. They’d tell us to savor each moment, especially the people we love most.
We can do this with peace because we know our story with Ang is not over. We grieve but not as those who have no hope. Ang is with God. God is with us. One day all will be made well and whole. Until then, I’m picking up where you left off, Ang, and you’re with me on every page still to come. 
melissahatfield.blog 